10 Korean Table Etiquette Mistakes to Avoid with Noonchi  

When living in Korea, one must always be alert to use noonchi (눈치) in interpersonal relationships and social situations. Having noonchi (“눈치 있다”), the Korean art of practicing intuition and common sense, will facilitate life in Korea by helping to ensure smoother relationships and pacifying unintended misunderstandings and conflict. On the other hand, lacking noonchi (“눈치 없다”) may result in increased strife and disharmony at home, school, and the workplace.

You may even experience friction at the dining table if certain unstated rules of Korean food etiquette aren’t followed. You can avoid making social blunders in front of your host and dining companions by effortlessly observing Korean table manners using your fast noonchi (“눈치 빠르다”).  And, for a refresher on what noonchi is, check out 5 Scenarios That Illustrate Korean Noonchi. Now let’s grab our utensils and dig into 10 Korean table etiquette mistakes to avoid with the power of noonchi.

1. Not sharing your food

Have you ever been around friends and colleagues and noshed on your snacks by yourself? You may have missed hearing whispered accusations of lacking noonchi  (“눈치 없다”) while happily crunching on your honey butter chips. It doesn’t sound fair, especially because you bought and prepared your snacks for yourself. But, because of Korea’s implicit culture of equating sharing with caring, it is advisable to refrain from eating in front of others unless you’re willing to share.

2. Eating in front of others

Koreans also have a community mindset of doing things together, from group outings ranging from hikes to jam sessions at the noraebang 노래방 to show team solidarity. When it comes to food etiquette, this also means that it is best to avoid the simple act of eating by yourself in front of others. Not only does this point include eating among an audience of peers, but also extends to the public, i.e., strangers. And, who hasn’t witnessed and felt the annoyance over watching noonchi-less folks eating 3-course meals inside the bus or train? Thankfully, however, you are more mindful of your solo eating in public and save others from experiencing potential food splatter and wafting mystery smells.  

3. Refusing to eat or being too picky

Save for those with food allergies and strong food preferences, it might be a good idea to make your best efforts to eat what you’re served. Be it with dining companions at a restaurant or in their homes, refusing to try new fare or being intricately particular about its cooking preparation, presentation, etc. may disrupt dining harmony. If you simply can’t stomach the live octopus 산낙지 (let alone the thought!) crawling around your plate, show your friends that you have noonchi with a polite approach. Frame your food rejection or preferences tactfully, avoiding offense by thanking them for the foodie adventure but passing with grace.

4. Forgetting to show appreciation  

Everyone appreciates feeling appreciated. At the start of a meal, show your gratitude for your food and host by announcing that you will eat well “잘 먹겠습니다” (jal meokgaess-seupnida). At the end, be sure to reinforce that you ate well by saying “잘 먹었습니다” (jal meokgeoss-seupnida). These are nice gestures and practicing these statements reflect your refined manners and fast noonchi.

5. Not offering to help

Group dining culture in Korea is a participatory affair. It is especially expected that friends, colleagues, and family members of the lowest rank and/or age will lend their hands to facilitate the dining experience. Take the initiative by helping to set the table. You might see your friends participate in their own roles as well. From laying down napkins, distributing utensils, and pouring and passing out drinks, everyone can help prepare the table. If you’re visiting someone’s home, offer to help in the kitchen before the meal or help with the dishes or help clear the table afterward. Your host will be touched and respond to your noonchi-motivated gesture by thanking you but politely insisting that you rest. They will likely refuse but be prepared if they take you up on your offer.

6. Resting chopsticks upright in your rice bowl

Avoid placing chopsticks vertically in your bowl of rice. This placement is how food is offered to the souls of the dead in memorial rituals. Unless you want to invoke the spirits of the deceased, bring misfortune to the home, or simply avoid hearing that you lack noonchi “눈치 없다”, neatly rest your chopsticks on your napkin when not in use.

7. Agreeing with the host’s self-imposed cooking insults  

Sometimes the host will downplay through self-aimed jabs a home-cooked meal either to show or feign humility, even if you’re served culinary masterpieces.

You’ve probably heard many hosts say any of the following variations at the start of and sometimes throughout the meal: “It’s not much but I hope you’ll enjoy it anyway.” “Sorry that this is such a simple dish.” “This banchan 반찬 is a little too spicy/sweet/salty, but I hope you’ll eat it anyway.” Thanks to your noonchi, you know not to fall into the trap of agreeing with these comments and instead praise them and eat with enthusiasm. And if you DO agree with their insults? Grin, bear it, and politely contradict them. Nobody wants to hear, “You’re right, your bulgogi is pretty sweet. Was this supposed to be served as the dessert?”

8. Starting before the higher-ups

Social hierarchies are very real in Korea and do not escape the dining table. Power on your noonchi and assess your dining companions. Once you’ve determined your position in the totem pole, act accordingly by serving and receiving food and drinks appropriately. Be sure to serve your elders or coworkers in the order of their position. Serve the grandfather before the children, and the managers before the new hires.

9. Korean drinking etiquette

In line with the above point regarding hierarchies, be mindful of the pecking order among your drinking companions. When serving your elders (who may only be 6 months older than you!) and superiors, be sure to pour their drinks using both hands or with one hand supporting your dominant arm. Be sure to receive drinks from elders in like manner. And don’t forget to turn your head slightly when drinking in front of an elder or a superior.

10. Hogging all the good food

While Koreans love to see their guests heartily enjoy their meals, one should be mindful that genuine eating enthusiasm is not mistaken for greed. Taking a lion’s share from the main dish before everyone is served will not bode well at the Korean table. Scope out the main dish quantity as well as the banchan and begin your mental ration of single and reasonable portions. Yes, there will always be that noonchi-less person who takes 4 pieces of the dozen shrimp in your party of 6, but this doesn’t have to be you.